Baby shower etiquette: group of friends celebrating a baby shower

Baby showers are joyful celebrations, often filled with silly games, thoughtful gifts, and special moments with the parents-to-be. Whether you’re in charge of hosting the event or have been invited as a guest, you probably have questions, especially regarding baby shower etiquette.

This guide offers six simple guidelines for a fun and memorable baby shower, including gift-giving protocol, hosting tips, and other helpful hints.

1. Decide on Hosting Responsibilities

Baby shower etiquette: Cute Confetti Invitation

Design: Creo Study

When it comes to planning a baby shower, anyone can host this special event — a close friend, an in-law, an immediate family member, or a beloved colleague. Traditional baby shower etiquette dictates that the expecting parents shouldn’t be in charge of the planning as they already have enough on their plates. Of course, parents-to-be can host their own baby shower, but it’s customary for a loved one to do the honors.

The host is also responsible for paying the bill. To maximize your budget, consider co-hosting the event with friends or family or making it a potluck-style celebration.

2. Consider Timing for the Expectant Parents

Deciding when to have the baby shower depends on the mom-to-be. Generally, baby showers are hosted during the end of the second trimester or early in the third trimester, typically four to eight weeks before the baby’s due date. This leaves enough time for the couple to use gifts from the baby shower to prepare for the special arrival.

The best time to plan a baby shower really depends on the parents-to-be. Talk to them to determine what works best. You’ll also want to take into account any cultural or religious norms if those are important to the expectant parents.

The baby shower itself should last about two to three hours. That offers enough time for guests to eat and drink, play baby shower games, and watch the mother-to-be open presents. If you plan on having a large guest list, consider hosting a longer drop-in shower where guests can stop by during a four- to six-hour window instead.

3. Be Mindful of When You Send Invitations

Baby shower etiquette: Floral Moon Invitation

Design: Jamie Alexander

To follow standard baby shower etiquette, send invitations four to six weeks before the event to give guests enough notice. For guests who have to travel, send invites about eight to 10 weeks beforehand so they have enough time to plan.

While you can send traditional paper invites, digital invitations like those from Greenvelope are an eco-friendly and affordable way to get the word out. Plus, they’re easier and faster to send since you can choose a design, customize it, and send it off in just a few clicks. No trips to the post office or mailing delays!

When writing your invitations, consider the event’s formality and ensure your wording reflects it. For formal invitations, write out the full names and titles of the parents and guests. For more casual or small celebrations, you can stick to first names, family names, or nicknames if you’d like.

Be sure to include the following in your baby shower invitations:

  • The mother’s or parent’s names
  • Date, time, and location of the celebration
  • RSVP instructions
  • Any special requests (such as gifts, food, or dress code for a theme)
  • Baby registry information (if desired)

Check out this guide on baby shower wording ideas for more helpful tips.

If you’re an invited baby shower guest, RSVP early and provide advance notice if something comes up and you cannot attend. Read the invitation closely to see who’s invited and if you can bring along a partner or children.

4. Determine Your Baby Shower Style (Traditional, Coed, In-Person, Virtual)

Pregnant woman with her friends at a baby shower

Traditionally, baby showers have been in-person events limited to the women in the mother-to-be’s life. Today, baby shower guest lists can include anyone you want to invite. Some couples still prefer old-school traditions, while others prefer the excitement of a coed baby shower. 

There are also new spins on baby showers, including virtual baby showers and baby sprinkles — a smaller shower with fewer frills, typically preferred by couples celebrating a second child or third child. There’s also the diaper party, a pared-down baby shower designed for the dad-to-be where guests bring diapers or baby wipes and have a casual gathering like a barbecue. Gender reveal parties and gender-neutral showers are also trending.

Discuss what type of baby shower the expecting parents prefer and who they want to invite. You’ll also want to determine the number of guests you can accommodate in your budget. In your invitation, clearly state if guests can bring other people (such as others in the household) or if the event is invitation-only. Now is also the time to decide if children are welcome to attend or if this will be an adults-only celebration.

5. Understand Guidelines on Gifts

Historically, having the guest of honor open gifts during the baby shower was proper baby shower etiquette. Today, parents can decide whether to open gifts in front of everyone or if they prefer to have some privacy and open the presents on their own time. Opening gifts on their own allows the couple to go through baby shower gifts without feeling rushed, especially if it’s a large celebration. 

As a guest, it’s customary to give practical gifts. Baby shower gifts can include essential baby gear like strollers, car seats, and baby monitors, as well as bottles, onesies, diapers, blankets, reading materials, and toys. Cash and gift cards are also acceptable for the new parents. Typically, guests can spend anywhere from $25 to $200 on a gift, but the amount will depend on how well you know the expecting mother and your budget.

6. Set Party Planning Expectations

Cheerful Cutout Trees Invitation

Design: Kid Collective

Most of the time, baby shower hosts choose a baby shower theme. While etiquette doesn’t require a theme, it does make it easier to decorate, create a menu, and coordinate games. Ascertain if the expectant parents prefer a theme and choose one to plan the perfect baby shower.

Aside from choosing a theme, baby shower hosts are expected to provide some food and activities. Opt for easy baby shower bites like finger sandwiches and hors d’oeuvres, or serve a light meal instead. You can also offer wine, beer, and alcohol-free drinks.

Baby shower etiquette doesn’t require playing games, but it’s a great way to liven up a celebration. If you’re hosting a virtual event, don’t worry — there are plenty of virtual baby shower games, too. 

After the event, it’s nice to send guests home with party favors. With a large guest list, baby shower favors can get expensive, but you don’t have to stretch the budget to show your appreciation. A simple thank you card or small trinket that matches the baby shower theme is sufficient.

Simplify the Process with Baby Shower Etiquette

Friends happily celebrating a baby shower

With these baby shower etiquette rules, you can plan a memorable celebration without worrying about any potential faux pas. From timelines for sending invitations to creating a guest list and tackling all the hosting responsibilities, it’s never been easier to plan a baby shower for someone you love.

When you’re ready to invite guests, browse Greenvelope’s collection of baby shower invitation designs. You’ll find everything from formal invites to artful designs for any shower theme. Each invite is completely customizable, allowing you to put a unique spin on it. Once you’re done, upload your guest contact list and hit send to deliver the baby shower invites by text and email.

For more baby shower planning advice, continue browsing our Stationers blog. Whether you need etiquette guidelines, advice for games and menus, or theme ideas, you’ll find what you need.