We are learning that online wedding invitations are moving into the 21st century and finding a place in modern etiquette rules.

We can learn quickly (within minutes thanks to Facebook) of a friend’s engagement. Sending invitations through the mail can create a margin for a delayed response if people move, or the invitation is returned to sender. Delays can make it difficult to have time for the guests to make travel plans with seat availability, price of tickets, requesting time off work, etc.

Since many of us are online throughout the day, it is unlikely to miss critical information. There seems to be a misguided assumption that online communication is exclusively for informal contact/events. On the contrary, beautiful sophisticated invitations are at your fingertips without delay, postage costs and a high price tag.

Check out the new online etiquette-pedia (, to reflect what is appropriate for online wedding mailings.

Online invitations are not the way of the future, they are the now!!


Let your network know about your nuptials (this is appropriate even if they are not invited). Engagement announcements can be sent within 2 months of the engagements or right after the engagement photo shoot. Any guests that do not use the computer may be notified by phone..


An easy way to share both the date, your engagement photos, and sneak peeks of event information with event pages and wedding websites. Send 1 year before your wedding day. Any guests that do not use the computer should be sent paper versions or simply alerted with a friendly phone call, and visit perhaps.


Your guests will be able to RSVP with just a click and allow you to easily track who has received the invitation, who has opened it, who has RSVPd. Send invitations 2 months before the big day. Any guests that do not use the computer should be sent a paper version, RSVPs can be gathered by phone or reply card.


Customize your thank you notes for each guest if you send them online.  Recall a memory from the event and and include it to personalize your thank you note. For paper thank you notes sent to those who do not use the computer, should be handwritten with a personal sediment, as well.


For Engagement Parties, Rehearsal Dinners, Showers, etc. send invitations online 6 weeks before the event, RSVPs should also be collected online. Any guests that do not use the computer should be sent paper versions and RSVPs should be gathered by phone.  Send paper version invitations to any guest who do not use a computer and track RSVPs by phone.


Updates can be sent via email to the whole group or to selected guests. Updates are not for sharing personal details or for flooding your guest’s inbox but rather for updating your guest on changes or new information. Any guests who do not use the computer should be called for critical event changes.

Reminders, re-sending your invitation (or a modified version of your invitation), should be sent only once as early as 2 weeks and up until 3 days before the big day. Any guests that do not use the computer should be notified by phone.

Always BCC your contacts when sending group messages through your email, so chain emails about differences in opinion or understanding don’t ensue.