A father and son lay on the carpet

You may not get all of his dad jokes, but you do love and appreciate everything your father has ever done for you. He put up with you through your stubborn teenage years (and your high school romances). He kept his voice at a healthy decibel level when you backed into that mailbox. And he always adapted the “if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry” approach when dealing with your and your siblings’ antics.

Your dad is your number one hero and number one troll. In your family, laughter is your love language, and you’re on the hunt for a funny Father’s Day card to give your dad. After all, you inherited his sense of humor, and you don’t want your snarky one-liners going to waste.

Below, we’re sharing a few funny Father’s Day messages to send to your dad. Plus, we’re including a few greeting cards you can easily customize to send to your old man.

Funny Father’s Day Cards to Remind Him of His Greatest Gift (You)

"Grab a Beer" funny father's day cards from Greenvelope

Design: Melissa Egan Design

Your dad gave you the gift of a sharp wit and snappy puns, but you bless him every single day with your presents — er, presence. And you’re not about to let him forget it. To remind your number one dad that you’ll always be his number one gift, try writing these one-liners in his Father’s Day card:

  • Dad, for your Father’s Day present this year, I am gifting you 24 hours without me screaming, “Daaaaaaaaaadddddddddddd!!!” I can’t promise my siblings will do the same.
  • Dad, I wanted to give you a gift that would make your life easier. So I bought mom a dozen roses, and told the florist to write your name on it. Happy Father’s Day!
  • I was going to wrap up the perfect Father’s Day gift, then realized you already have me. So … you’re welcome.
  • My teacher gave us class time to make our dads a DIY Father’s Day gift. I didn’t think you’d want another coffee mug, so I sent calendar invites to your Gmail for Valentine’s Day, Mom’s birthday, and your anniversary. You can thank me later.
  • Dad, I had the perfect gift idea for you for Father’s Day. But technically … you bought it. You know, you’ve always had the greatest taste.
  • I wanted to give you a great gift you could enjoy year round. I emailed you links to a Valentine’s Day card, birthday card, and anniversary card I think mom would love. I know, I’m your favorite child — you don’t have to remind me.
  • Dad, a wise person said that it’s not about the gift itself — it’s the thought that counts. So I want you to know, I’m thinking of you today. Your gift ends there.
  • I know your dream day is to drink a few beers, sleep, and embarrass your kids. Let me tell you, you have that last one covered.

Funny Cards That Remind Him, Yes, You Are Related

"You're One in a Melon" funny father's day card from Greenvelope

Design: Bethany McDonald Design

He may try to deny any shared relationship with you, but all of your best quirks came from your dad. And sure, he swore he never met you in his life when the principal called your house in high school, but you’ve moved past that. Here are several ways to poke fun at your shared relationship:

  • Dad, I think you’re pretty fabulous. Thank you for sharing your DNA with me.
  • Dad, I will always be your little girl. And by that, I mean your little financial burden.
  • Dad, my siblings are not perfect and that’s ok. I forgive you.
  • Dad, I used to be grateful I inherited your sense of humor and stunning good looks. Then I realized I got those from mom. My love of beer and unparalleled competitive streak I got from you.
  • Honestly, my exquisite charm and stunning good looks are scientific evidence that you’re the best dad ever.
  • Dear Dad, I’m sorry you had to raise my awful siblings. Trust me, they’re the absolute worst.
  • I hope this Father’s Day is as fun as life was before you had to raise my siblings.
  • Remember when my university played your alma mater and you pretended to disown me? You didn’t actually cut me out of the will, did you?
  • I am thoroughly convinced half my elementary school teachers had no idea I was your son because you repeatedly denied our relationship. May I remind you, all my fine qualities came from you.

Funny Ways to Let Him Know He’s Still Your #1 Guy

"You're Paws-itively the Best" funny father's day cards from Greenvelope

Design: Nicole Winn

You and your dad love each other just as much as you love to poke fun at each other. Both of you know it comes from a good place, and you’re always looking for new jokes to throw one another’s way. Here are fun ways to wish him a happy Father’s Day:

  • I got into an argument today with all my friends about who had the best dad ever. Since I have two dads, our family gets twice as many awesomeness points. I rest my case.
  • Behind every great dad is a great kid. That would be me. Love you dad!
  • They say that the only man a girl can depend on is her dad. I see what you did there — I always knew you were trying to discourage me from dating.
  • Happy Father’s Day to the world’s best farter — excuse me, I mean father.
  • Happy first Father’s Day to the world’s coolest stepdad. I’m honestly impressed you’ve put up with my mom and siblings for an entire year — I tip my hat to you.
  • Happy Father’s Day to the best father-in-law I could have ever asked for. Honestly, every morning I wake up surprised to be a part of this wild, crazy family.
  • Happy Father’s Day to my number one best bud and the best grandpa anyone could ask for. Don’t tell Dad, but you’re sort of my favorite.
  • Dad, I just want you to know that I finally forgive you for not taking me to Disney World as a child. But what about taking me to Hawaii as an adult?
  • Dad, thank you for everything you’ve ever done for me. Like telling me “yes” when Mom already said “no.”

Transform a Greenvelope Card into a Funny Father’s Day Card

At Greenvelope, any greeting card can be easily transformed into a funny Father’s Day card. Once you find a design that reminds you of your dad, you can easily customize the front cover to read “Happy Father’s Day!” Then, on the inside cover, add your chosen, snappy pun to send to your number one guy.

Remember, you got your sense of humor from him, so he’ll be expecting some quick wit come the third Sunday in June. Hopefully, the above list gave you a few ideas on what to write your dad for Father’s Day.

And to all the great dads out there, happy Father’s Day! We take zero credit for the roasts that are sure to come your way.