A bar or bat mitzvah invitation needs to say six things: who is being called to the Torah, who is hosting, the date and time of the service, where the service is held, what follows it and where, and how to reply by when. Everything else is a choice about register. The wording below covers the traditional formal register, the modern one families use more often now, and the situations that make mitzvah wording genuinely harder than a party invitation: a Hebrew name, divorced or blended families, two children sharing a date, a service and a party with different guest lists, and guests who have never been to a Shabbat morning service. Every example is copy-ready, and once you have picked one you can drop it straight into a digital bar mitzvah invitation or bat mitzvah invitation from Greenvelope and send it by email, text message, or a shareable link.
What Every Bar and Bat Mitzvah Invitation Includes
- The child’s name. First name at minimum. Adding the middle name raises the formality. The Hebrew name is optional and traditionally set on its own line.
- The calling. Some version of “is called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah” is what marks this as a mitzvah invitation rather than a birthday party.
- The hosts. Usually the parents, sometimes with grandparents, sometimes phrased as the child inviting alongside them.
- Date and time of the service. Spelled out for formal wording, in numerals for modern.
- The synagogue or venue, with the city. Full street address on the invitation or on a details line.
- What follows. A kiddush luncheon in the hall, a separate reception, an evening party, or all three.
- The reply. An RSVP line and a deadline, ideally three to four weeks before the date so you can give the caterer a number.
The Traditional Line, and Where the Hebrew Name Goes
The phrase that carries the tradition is being called to the Torah. Formal invitations almost always use it, and modern ones often keep it even when they relax everything else, because it is the sentence that tells a guest what kind of morning this is.
If you are including the Hebrew name, it sits directly under the English name on its own line, frequently in parentheses or italics. The patronymic form names the parents: a son is David ben Yosef v’Miriam, a daughter is Rachel bat Yosef v’Miriam. Some families print the Hebrew letters, some transliterate, and some do both. Any of the three is correct. If Hebrew letters matter to you, check that your invitation can carry them before you commit to a design, since not every platform sets Hebrew type as live text. On Greenvelope, Hebrew appears on the card when it is part of artwork you upload as a JPG, PNG, or PDF, which is the same route families use for a suite from their own stationer.
Formal Bar Mitzvah Invitation Wording
Please share in our joy
as our son
David Michael
(David ben Yosef v’Miriam)
is called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah
Saturday, the fourteenth of March
two thousand twenty-seven
at ten o’clock in the morning
Congregation Beth Shalom
1400 Elmwood Avenue
Evanston, Illinois
Kiddush luncheon to follow
Miriam and Joseph Stern
A second formal register, slightly warmer, opens with the honor rather than the joy:
With gratitude and pride
we invite you to worship with us
as our son
Daniel Aaron
is called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah
Saturday, the eighth of May
two thousand twenty-seven
at nine thirty in the morning
Temple Emanu-El, Dallas, Texas
Luncheon reception immediately following
Rachel and Michael Weiss
Formal Bat Mitzvah Invitation Wording
Please share in our great joy
as our daughter
Sarah Elizabeth
(Sarah bat David v’Leah)
is called to the Torah as a Bat Mitzvah
Saturday, the twenty-first of November
two thousand twenty-seven
at ten o’clock in the morning
Congregation Rodeph Sholom
2385 Park Avenue
Bridgeport, Connecticut
Kiddush luncheon to follow
Leah and David Kaplan
When grandparents are named alongside the parents, they go on the line beneath:
Together with our parents
we invite you to share in our joy
as our daughter
Naomi Rose
is called to the Torah as a Bat Mitzvah
Saturday, the third of October at ten in the morning
Beth Israel Synagogue, Portland, Oregon
Deborah and Aaron Levin
Ruth and Samuel Levin
Esther Gold
Modern and Informal Wording
Most families now write somewhere between the two registers: numerals instead of spelled-out dates, a shorter opening line, and a voice that sounds like the people sending it. The calling stays.
We are overjoyed to share that
our son Eli
is called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah
Saturday, March 14, 2027 at 10:00 a.m.
Congregation Beth Shalom, Evanston
Kiddush lunch to follow
Miriam and Joseph Stern
Thirteen years ago we could not have imagined this day.
Please join us as our daughter Maya
is called to the Torah as a Bat Mitzvah
Saturday, June 5, 2027 at 9:30 a.m.
Temple Sinai, Oakland
Lunch and celebrating right after
Anna and Ben Roth
Openings that work in the modern register, if you want to swap one in: we invite you to share in our celebration; with love and pride in our hearts; please join our family as; it would mean the world to us if you joined us as.
Wording the Host Line for Every Family Shape
This is the part families rewrite the most times, and there is no single correct answer. What follows are the conventions that read cleanly.
Both parents, married. Names on one line, traditionally the mother first in this context: Miriam and Joseph Stern.
Divorced parents, hosting together. Each parent takes their own line, no “and” joining them, in the order that causes the least friction (often alphabetical by first name, or the custodial parent first):
Miriam Stern
Joseph Stern
invite you to share in their joy as their son
David Michael
is called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah
Remarried parents. Each household on its own line, with the stepparent named if they are hosting: Miriam and Paul Berger on one line, Joseph and Dana Stern on the next.
One parent, hosting alone. The single name stands on its own without explanation. No invitation owes anyone an account of the family.
A parent who has died. Two conventions are both correct: name the child as the son or daughter of both parents in the body, or add the memory phrasing to the host area, as in Daniel Aaron, son of Rachel Weiss and the late Michael Weiss, or Michael Weiss, of blessed memory. Many families use the Hebrew abbreviation z”l after the name instead. Choose the one your family says out loud.
The child as a co-host. Increasingly common and worth considering, since the day is about their taking on adult responsibility: Eli Stern, together with his parents Miriam and Joseph, invites you to worship and celebrate. Whichever host line you land on, it is the one piece of wording most likely to change late, which is an argument for a format you can edit after the design is finished rather than after it is printed. Greenvelope invitations stay editable up to the moment you send.
Twins, Siblings, and B’nai Mitzvah Wording
When two children share the date, the plural forms are b’nai mitzvah for two boys or a mixed pair, and b’not mitzvah for two girls. Many congregations now also use b’nai mitzvah as a gender-neutral term for a single child, so follow whatever your synagogue uses.
Please share in our joy
as our children
Eli Jacob and Maya Ruth
are called to the Torah as B’nai Mitzvah
Saturday, March 14, 2027 at 10:00 a.m.
Congregation Beth Shalom, Evanston, Illinois
Kiddush luncheon to follow
Miriam and Joseph Stern
If the two are cousins rather than siblings, name both sets of parents as hosts on separate lines and keep the children’s names in the body together.
Adult Bat and Bar Mitzvah Wording
Adults who did not have the ceremony as children celebrate it often, individually or as a class, and the wording shifts from parents hosting to the person inviting in their own voice.
After many years of waiting
I will be called to the Torah as a Bat Mitzvah
and I would be honored by your presence
Saturday, February 6, 2027 at 10:00 a.m.
Congregation Kol Ami, Tucson, Arizona
Kiddush luncheon to follow
Judith Halpern
For a class celebrating together, the congregation usually hosts: Congregation Kol Ami invites you to celebrate the Adult B’nai Mitzvah class of 5787 as they are called to the Torah.
Service, Luncheon, and Party: How to Word Two Guest Lists
A mitzvah weekend frequently has different circles for different parts, and the wording has to be clear about that without making anyone feel sorted. Three approaches work.
One invitation, one list. The simplest case. Add a single line: Kiddush luncheon to follow in the social hall.
One invitation, extra card for the party. The service invitation goes to everyone, and those invited to the evening celebration also receive a reception line or a second card: Dinner and dancing to follow at seven o’clock, The Warwick, 65 West Street.
A separate party invitation for the teenagers. Written to the child’s friends rather than to their parents, and it should sound like it:
Eli is becoming a Bar Mitzvah and there is a party.
Saturday, March 14, 8:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m.
The Warwick, 65 West Street
Dinner, dancing, photo booth, dessert bar
Dressy, comfortable shoes recommended
Reply by February 21
When the circles differ, tag your guest list rather than maintaining separate lists, and put the parts of the weekend on the reply form as checkboxes so each guest tells you exactly which ones they are attending. Our guide to adding custom questions to an online RSVP covers the question formats, and the full mechanics are in the complete guide to collecting RSVPs online.
Save the Date Wording
Mitzvah dates are assigned by the synagogue years ahead, which is an advantage almost no other event has: you can send a save the date six months to a year out and give out-of-town family time to book. Keep it short.
Save the date
Eli Stern is called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah
Saturday, March 14, 2027
Evanston, Illinois
Invitation to follow
General save the date guidance for other events is in our save the date wording guide, and timing for every event type is in the invitation timing guide.
The RSVP Line
Formal: The favour of a reply is requested by the twenty-first of February. Modern: Please reply by February 21. Digital: Please reply using the link in this invitation by February 21.
Set the deadline three to four weeks before the date. Caterers and synagogues usually want final numbers a week or two out, and the gap is what lets you chase the people who have not answered without panicking. A digital invitation makes that gap useful rather than anxious: Greenvelope shows who has opened the invitation and not replied, and sends a reminder only to those guests instead of to the whole list. If you are asking guests to choose a meal, say so on the invitation rather than surprising them on the reply form, and ask about allergies in the same place.
Wording for Guests Who Are Not Jewish
Most mitzvah guest lists include people who have never been to a Shabbat morning service, and a line or two on the invitation or its details panel spares them the awkwardness of guessing. None of this belongs in the formal wording block; put it below or on a details card.
- All are warmly welcome at the service. Head coverings will be available at the entrance.
- The service lasts about two and a half hours. Guests are welcome to arrive at any point.
- Cocktail attire. Shoulders covered in the sanctuary, please.
- Photography is not permitted during the service. We will have plenty at the party.
- Gifts are not expected. Eli is collecting for the food bank as his mitzvah project if you would like to contribute.
Sending It
Once the wording is settled, the send is the part that decides whether you get a clean headcount. A mitzvah list runs from great-aunts who check email weekly to thirteen-year-olds who will only ever see a text message, and running two parallel lists is how numbers go wrong. Greenvelope sends the same invitation by email, text message, or shareable link from a single guest list, wraps it in an animated envelope with a custom liner and background music, and tracks every reply in one dashboard, with custom questions for each part of the weekend and separate meal choices for the luncheon and the party. Pricing is one flat, one-time amount set by guest count that starts at $19 for up to 20 guests, with no per-guest charges and no subscription required, and the guest view is ad-free with no account required to reply. Greenvelope holds a 4.9 out of 5 Trustpilot rating across more than 10,000 reviews.
If you are still choosing where to send from, our comparison of the best bar and bat mitzvah invitation platforms ranks seven options on design, delivery, and RSVP depth. For design inspiration rather than wording, our blog rounds up bat mitzvah invitation designs. And when the day is over, the thank you card message guide covers what to write for the gifts.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should a bar or bat mitzvah invitation say?
A bar or bat mitzvah invitation should name the child, state that they are called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah, name the hosts, and give the date, time, and place of the service, what follows it such as a kiddush luncheon or an evening reception, and an RSVP line with a deadline three to four weeks before the date. Formal wording spells out the date and time and often adds the Hebrew name on its own line; modern wording uses numerals and a shorter opening. On a digital invitation from Greenvelope you can also attach the reply questions to the same card, so meal choices and which parts of the weekend each guest is attending come back with the RSVP rather than in a separate round of messages.
How far in advance should you send bar and bat mitzvah invitations?
Send a save the date six months to a year ahead, since synagogues assign mitzvah dates years in advance and out-of-town family will be booking travel, then send the invitation six to eight weeks before the date with a reply deadline three to four weeks out. The practical consequence for the wording is that the save the date and the invitation should say consistent things and go to the same list, which is how Greenvelope handles it: both sends run off one guest list and every reply lands in the same dashboard, so the second send does not become a second spreadsheet.
How do you word a bar mitzvah invitation when the parents are divorced?
Give each parent their own line with no word joining them, rather than the single joined line married parents use, and choose an order deliberately, often the custodial parent first or alphabetically by first name. If a parent has remarried and the stepparent is hosting, that household takes its own line together. The invitation itself does not need to explain anything. The one practical piece is the reply: when two households are hosting, add a cohost to the mailing in Greenvelope so both parents see the responses as they arrive instead of one forwarding them to the other.
Do you include the Hebrew name on a bar or bat mitzvah invitation?
It is optional and entirely a family preference. When it is included it traditionally sits directly beneath the English name on its own line, often in parentheses or italics, using the patronymic form that names the parents: David ben Yosef v’Miriam for a son, Rachel bat Yosef v’Miriam for a daughter. Families print it in Hebrew letters, in transliteration, or in both, and all three are correct. Some congregations have a house style, so it is worth asking yours before the invitation goes to print or to send.
How do you word an invitation for twins or siblings sharing a bar or bat mitzvah?
Use the plural: two boys or a mixed pair are called to the Torah as B’nai Mitzvah, two girls as B’not Mitzvah, with both children named together in the body and the parents on the host line. Many congregations also use b’nai mitzvah as a gender-neutral term for a single child, so follow your synagogue. If the two are cousins, name both sets of parents on separate host lines. When two families share the celebration, running the send from one Greenvelope mailing with a cohost added keeps a single guest list and a single set of replies rather than two lists that have to be reconciled.
Should the service and the party go on the same invitation?
They can, if everyone invited to one is invited to the other. When the circles differ, the usual approach is a service invitation that goes to the whole list plus a reception line or second card for the guests invited to the evening celebration, and often a separate party invitation written to the teenagers in their own voice. Rather than maintaining separate lists, tag the guest list and put each part of the weekend on the reply form as its own checkbox, which is what Greenvelope custom questions are for: one send, and a separate accurate headcount for the service, the luncheon, and the party.
How do you word a bar or bat mitzvah invitation for guests who are not Jewish?
Keep the formal wording block traditional and put the practical notes below it or on a details panel: that all guests are warmly welcome at the service, that head coverings will be available, roughly how long the service runs, the dress expectation, and whether photography is permitted during the service. These lines spare guests from guessing and are read as hospitality rather than instruction. On a Greenvelope invitation these notes go in the details panel attached to the card, so the wording block stays clean while every guest still has the answers in front of them.
What do you write on a bar or bat mitzvah save the date?
Four lines are enough: the words save the date, the child being called to the Torah as a Bar Mitzvah or Bat Mitzvah, the date, the city, and a note that an invitation will follow. Leave off the times, the venue address, and the party details, which are the things most likely to change between the save the date and the invitation. Send it six months to a year out. Sending the save the date from Greenvelope means the invitation later goes to the same guest list, and the addresses and replies you have already collected carry forward instead of being rebuilt.
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